Awkward 3rd Base Stories That Deserve a Hand

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The old fashioned handie can get really awkward in a hurry. Take a look at these stories about people that got to 3rd base and the next time you go to use your hand, maybe use your head first.

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Awkward 3rd Base Stories


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This girl promised me a “great surprise” if I came over to her house after school. Nervous and not wanting to prematurely…um…arrive, I stopped at my house first to snap off a quick one. The problem? When I got to her house it was like she was mashing on a limp noodle for 20 minutes. She told her friends and they called me Limp Bizkit for about a month.


Girlfriend heard about fire and ice lube. She improvised with Icy Hot – that stuff for sore muscles and joints. Jesus Christ! It was enjoyable for maybe five-seconds before the earth shattering pain kicked in. Trying it wash it off in the shower only opened my pores; making it so worse. Girlfriend thought it was hilarious.






Half-way through a movie at my new girlfriend’s house she starts rubbing me under the blanket. This was over the pants but she was persistent. Things kept going for almost an hour. I got up after the movie was over. That was a mistake. Her dad, in a furious tone, points at my crotch and yells “What the fuck is that?” Yeah, pre-cum in sweatpants is pretty noticeable.


My wife gave me a hand job for what felt like an hour. When she pulled back her hand in defeat it felt like velcro was being ripped from my crotch. I guess I hadn’t trimmed in a while and some pubes got caught in her watch band. Blinding pain gentleman. Trim ya shit!


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Do you have a hot, funny or viral image? Then submit your Dope pics to DopeHamster & Win $250!

Next prize draw starts on the 1st of next month!