The old fashioned handie can get really awkward in a hurry. Take a look at these stories about people that got to 3rd base and the next time you go to use your hand, maybe use your head first.
Awkward 3rd Base Stories
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This girl promised me a “great surprise” if I came over to her house after school. Nervous and not wanting to prematurely…um…arrive, I stopped at my house first to snap off a quick one. The problem? When I got to her house it was like she was mashing on a limp noodle for 20 minutes. She told her friends and they called me Limp Bizkit for about a month.
Girlfriend heard about fire and ice lube. She improvised with Icy Hot – that stuff for sore muscles and joints. Jesus Christ! It was enjoyable for maybe five-seconds before the earth shattering pain kicked in. Trying it wash it off in the shower only opened my pores; making it so worse. Girlfriend thought it was hilarious.
Half-way through a movie at my new girlfriend’s house she starts rubbing me under the blanket. This was over the pants but she was persistent. Things kept going for almost an hour. I got up after the movie was over. That was a mistake. Her dad, in a furious tone, points at my crotch and yells “What the fuck is that?” Yeah, pre-cum in sweatpants is pretty noticeable.
My wife gave me a hand job for what felt like an hour. When she pulled back her hand in defeat it felt like velcro was being ripped from my crotch. I guess I hadn’t trimmed in a while and some pubes got caught in her watch band. Blinding pain gentleman. Trim ya shit!
Awkward 3rd Base Stories That Deserve a Hand is another hot discovery from the DopeHamster. He scurries around the web everyday to find the best in hot, funny and viral posts for your enjoyment. We currently have 4105 Dope Posts and everyday we add more!
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Tags: Funny, lol, sex, TheChive